I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
