There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
