I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I deserve this hangover.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
