The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
