I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's official drugs can't kill me
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
