$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
