You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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