Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
where are my eyebrows?
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