i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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