Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
