You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
