It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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