I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
