if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
