when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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