Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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