Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
