you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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