She's JV to your varsity
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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