Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
