the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
