Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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