There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I currently don't understand fingers.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
