Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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