no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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