I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
