I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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