So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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