i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
