were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
