Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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