Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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(647): View more from Ontario

look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

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(703): View more from Virginia

Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just Tebowed the shit out of her.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it

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(313): View more from Michigan

After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.

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