You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
