He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
