sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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