Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
