the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
