Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
