just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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