then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
