Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
