i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
