Kiss
Puke
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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