worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
