Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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