he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
