walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
