Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
