i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
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Do I have a choice?
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when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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