im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
